Office Email: Watch out for Mrs. Low Self Esteem
Attention fellow employees. We all need to keep a look out for this. We have one opportunity to listen to this warning and I think we should. This PSA is really going to make you better judges of character and you will sound way smarter because of it.
There's this girl around the office. A real sweet person. A smooth talker. She has a very playful way with words. Stay away from her. She is trouble and those sweet nothings will end up as cavities in your mouth. Mrs. LSE is being a huge distraction on the work force. She is apparently dropping some hints that she is lonely. She is married and has the potential to ruin your life and hers. It will be death for you. In her defense she is kind of aloof to this situation, but we will leave that to HR to handle.
Keep your distance from her. Don't be over friendly with her near the cubicle. Don't start any late night projects with her. One slip and you will become the joke of the office. A bad joke with an infamous punchline. She's not worth the loss of face. Her husband is also an NRA member.
She may be very cute and friendly, but how long do you think that will last? When you are ready to retire and collect your 401k you will also be collecting your infamy from the night of stupidity you had with her. You will kick yourself because you did not say no to her. Let this email guide you and warn you. You don't want to be the office loser.
Go home. Kiss your wonderful wife and be thankful you have such a wonderful blessing in your life. Enjoy her to the fullest and make sure she knows that she is special to you. You are young and in love and that is something to celebrate. Make sure you are the only one celebrating it with your wife.
In fact, use your vacation time to take your misses on a romantic get away. You two can spend some serious "we" time together. The censor board is screening emails so I will use discretion. Have lots of fun, that is all I am saying.
Don't get caught up with Mrs. LSE. She is looking for bad attention. On top of that her husband is a blackbelt in Jujitsu.
We in upper management know what is going on. The Boss sees everything. We are just looking out for you and we dont want any stupid harm coming your way. Be smart. Make good choices. Train yourself in these choices and don't be a clod.
Sincerely,
Your Supervisor
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